Longer life spans are driving decisions to divorce, experts say
In 2021, after more than 30 years together, Alan Hickenbottom and his wife filed for divorce — but he still believes their marriage was a success.
Their early years together were fun and exciting. They bonded over a shared love of books and art, and a desire to do good things in the world. (Hickenbottom, 67, worked in renewable energy for decades; his ex was a teacher and a school librarian.)
Then they threw themselves enthusiastically into raising their two children, he said. But as often happens, when the kids left for college, Hickenbottom realized that he and his wife were more like colleagues and roommates than romantic partners.
Two years of marriage counseling didn’t fix things.
“I didn’t want to devalue the life that we built, but that was not how I wanted to live,” Hickenbottom said.
He might have another 40 years, he thought. “What do I want to do?” he recalled asking.
Hickenbottom is hardly the only 60-something who has decided to split up because of that line of existential questioning. Rates of “gray divorce” — splits among those 50 and older — have risen sharply in the United States, doubling between 1990 and 2010. Though those rates have stabilized since the pandemic, nearly 40% of divorces today occur between people 50 and older.
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